Tagging a price to beauty

Posted on by Edris Matu Segawa

I want a TALL, HANDSOME and RICH MAN who will love me for me. (For real?) When we are busy tagging beauty, wealth and so many other nitty gritty conditions to the people we want to end up with, lets pause for a moment and look at ourselves.

MAN or WOMAN we always have fantasies and dreams of the love of our life but for so many of us reality checks in and substantial factors like character, beliefs and other ‘important’ things about him/her make our choice easy to see.

Get me right, I am not asking you to lower your standards because I will not lower mine. Take the time to realize that if I can love you the way you want to be loved, at the end of the day I’ll expect to be loved the way I want to be loved. (confused?) If a girl/woman will only feel loved after a routine of expensive gifts, pillow talk, a night out or having a powerful man by her side then gentlemen you have to deliver. Same goes for the dudes, he may only feel loved after you give him space when he needs it, readily avail yourself for sex, and probably always look hot and sexy. (Dating is a job people.)

Most of us are attracted by beauty and here beauty is not only what we see but character, belief and so much about a person. This ‘beauty‘ is not for sale but for appreciation and reservation.

We are raised differently but later meet as strangers and try to co exist as we learn more and more about the other and the common mistake we achieve exceedingly is not trying to learn more at this job called dating.

Let’s not ask our loved ones to miraculously fit into our single life routines because they chose to be with you. When you ask her or him to change their lives for you, you are tagging a price to your beauty.

Dating or marriage should not have tags because if we go that route, then compromise, understanding will have no place in relationships. Cloths, shoes and so many merchandise are tagged for the customer not a life partner, friend or family. 

Your beauty is priceless, keep it that way. (in today’s economy, prices can go up or down the next day)

dating-basics

 

What is Valentine really about?

Posted on by Edris Matu Segawa

ValentineAnyone in a relationship will tell you that Valentine’s day is too much pressure. Sending flowers,candlelight dinners and picking out the perfect gift will consume your thoughts and time for the ultimate goal to make that day memorable. If nothing happened for you on the 14th of February, chances are that you are single or have a cat.

So what is Valentines day really all about? A little bit of history will illuminate the subject. Legend laments that Saint Valentine of Rome was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry. During his imprisonment, Saint Valentine healed the daughter of his jailer, Asterius, and before his execution, he wrote her a letter signed “Your Valentine” as a farewell. (so does Valentine actually mean healer/doctor ? That would make most us of doctors and probably have less disappointed parents.)

Decades back, Valentines day celebrated early saints named Valetinus, and later it was associated with romantic love feasts that featured exchange of flowers and small gifts at a point when writing a love letter was still a big love gesture.

Come 2016, the same day is still about appreciating and being thankful for your partner, friend or family. In whatever way you do it. ( though some ladies will use this day to demand for car keys and a long awaited wedding. True Story) At the end of the day he or she wants to feel special, loved and most importantly not forgotten.

cute-Valentines-day-2016-backgroundValentine is to highlight the already existing care, trust and affection two people share. It’s not a day to redeem bad relationships or miraculously confess your undying love. It’s a continuation of a bond and time line between Valentines. In the end it’s a special day for special people.

I hope you had a good one.

 

 

What does Valentine mean to you? Comment below. (I feel the need to remind you)

 

You are her SAFE guy

Posted on by Edris Matu Segawa

Being the first choice is any man’s clandestine desire. Being on TOP of the list ,number ONE and knowing deep down that his woman desperately wanted to end up with him. Reality check my fellow male species, you are not on top of that list. You were, will be and are still her SAFE GUY.

Truth be told, every man or woman does fall in love. Is this love mutual? Not always. Women will never let you have that truth. She will sleep with you, smile with you but if chance came, she will leave you in an instant for her FANTASY GUY. (without warning by the way) So who is the SAFE GUY?

Ready or not, the search for ‘the one’ begins when you meet them, get to know them and it happens. The obscure event that drops you into a pool of wild feelings.  LOVE.  A journey without direction but mystery. If you end up together or not, she will always know that you are her guy. Her choice (if all factors were constant). The man of her dreams.

Do dreams come true? Debatable. Are you her first choice? Comme ci comme ca. These are factors some care for and others dare not to know.

just asking.

Do you drive her crazy? Will she do anything to keep you? Are you always on her mind? Well the list continues but the gist is, to be the atomic love grenade that shutters her mind and leaves her on the edge. (confused?) If you are in a relationship that feels like a routine,(office-work-home-sleep) then probably you are a SAFE GUY.  Peaceful, calm, predictable, a good guy. (Yeah she got tired of the bad boys and wanted something safe)

You ended up with the girl but she didn’t end up with the guy. So should you be unhappy? No, take the time and be spontaneous. Normal is good but not exciting. Be a blend of her fantasy and Safe guy. Take steps to move up that list. (Entirely for your EGO guys, entirely)  I’m not telling you to change into something unrecognizable, for however ‘safe’ you are, there is something she loves and adores about you.

‘Nothing’ A woman’s answer.

Posted on by Edris Matu Segawa

Is there something bothering you?

Are you sure nothing is wrong?

These are persistent questions that normally come seeking for an honest and sincere response of how you feel, but more than desired recieve the ‘NOTHING‘ response. (and yes I’m talking about you ladies) Communication is the most given advise to failing couples around the world and still most fail to do it.  Do these once deeply in love individuals learn new languages and can no longer make sense to one another? or is it the ‘nothing answer’ that leads this once hopeful couple into a dark place?

Ladies, before you get angry with me (and you might) hear me out. So many of my male friends (at times female) complain about how they get the ‘silent treatment‘. For those not familiar to the concept, this when your spouse/partner deliberately decides to shut you out and will ignore you until the silence actually starts to buzz. (it’s not a pretty situation) The longer you take figuring out what you did ‘wrong’ the longer the silence treatment goes on. Keep in mind that you will most likely fail to figure it out and be labeled ‘uncaring’ or pretty much do not take time to know your partner. This is a time to tread carefully.

Most men you will meet on this planet have low concentration levels and memory. They want direct answers and hate puzzels thus making the ‘nothing answer’ destructive than productive in a relationship.  A man will forget an important day, fail to say thank you or repeat the same thing you warned him about today and a minute after. This is not always an act of defiance but in most a testosterone issue. (but we try)  So why feed this natural defect when a honest answer can save a week of agonizing silent treatment.

Establishing an honest communicating relationship is something I think can help maintain happiness and clarity between the two of you. ‘Is there something bothering you?‘ he asks. ‘Can you stop checking out women when we are walking hand in hand?‘ Knowledge changes perception and action. Behaviour is bred by habit. All am saying is, start a conversation (not a quarrel) and make your feelings known. In whatever way, your partner/spouse is able to understand you, make the tireless effort to be a reminder Ladies, for men a babies again.