Complicated New year Resolutions

Posted on by Edris Matu Segawa

December holidays are always that time you get to rest and have a break from tiring work schedules, annoying but lovely people and have a chance to spend quality fun time with beloved family and friends.  So it is no surprise that we get to hope and assume that December might never end and that the new year is still a few more weeks away. Alas! the new year is here! (Yeah, Am Still adjusting too)

it's 2017

2017 represents a lot for different people. For some, It’s a new beginning, a continuation of normal day to day life and for most of us it’s a second chance to pursue what we failed to achieve in 2016.  Let it be changing our lifestyles, getting the nerve to ask that girl out or finally get the man of our dreams and probably a wedding! NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS are always complicated.

funny-new-years-resolutionEvery new year, I hear some friends of mine announce new year Resolutions like ‘this year am not eating burgers and fries. I have to cut my weight.’ (we all have that friend don’t we?)  It’s things like deciding to start gym this year and then spend six months planning to start, that make new year resolutions complicated. Most of us NEVER PLAN to move our plans forward but keep fantasizing with so many ideas and let our dreams die in the night. (If you do plan, please don’t judge the rest of us)

My mentor (God bless her!), gave me a book to read last year and it’s from that book and her guiding words and principles that am going to briefly let you on three secrets to help you start the journey on putting your new year Resolutions into motion.

If you are like me, then you have struggled in the past with chasing some of your goals and ended up panicking and getting confused on how to turn those dreams into reality. I have many times looked back and wondered why the hell I didn’t do this or that?  Then the year ends and I am swallowed by regret, frustration and anger. This is the under achieving cycle that most of us live in. A cycle that impedes you from attaining your full potential!

boton_1The first thing I have done, (I hope you try this out) is an individual assessment.(try to be ruthlessly honest here) List down all your main achievements for the last three years. This includes personal and professional milestones. From there, turn the page and write down all missed opportunities and the wrong choices you have made, especially those things you know you could have avoided. (That list might really shock you, but stay strong)

Compare the two lists and then write down where you would like to see yourself in the next three to five years if everything was perfect .This is your vision, your dream. Visualize all your achievements, steps to take and the people to get you there. These are your GOALS for 2017 and beyond. Don’t forget to set time lines or you will be working on one thing for twenty years.

2-1The next step is really up to me or you. After setting your goals, you need to have maintain consistence in action towards achieving your goals.  This has been a challenge for me and probably yourself but this year try to set up a system to help you be consistent toward achieving your goals. My mentor told me to make sure I do something contributing to my goals every day, however small.

This helps to keep your goals and vision alive and clear in your mind. As humans beings, we get distracted and forget. Try to stay on track with reminding yourself that your dreams are in motion and achievable. As my mentor might put it, drive the conversation.

3-24The third and final but clearly not last step is always pray. I am a religious person and for me Islam as my religion, teaches me to be thankful, patient, humble and helpful among so many other things.  So through prayer, I am able to remember that I need to be thankful to God for my health, family and friends, plus my Job (which we all want to keep) and life as you or I know it.

new-year-3This is probably one of the most important things to consistently do this year. Religion and perhaps culture limit us from loosing ourselves to ambition and wealth. In this journey to a better life, I try not to loose myself because it’s easy to do so.  Usually, the ‘I’ ll do whatever it takes phrase ‘ is quite a misleading one.

So I don’t know what you are doing now, but am definitely going off to set my goals, try my best to be consistent and always pray. Hopefully, I shall have less complicated New year Resolutions for 2018. What are you going to do?

 

 

 

 

ALWAYS PUT IT ON.

Posted on by Edris Matu Segawa

ABC…. The first three letters to the alphabet carry varying meaning to various individuals. From nursery school I had to memorize and practice these letters to the last letter Z. This would mean good grades, happy parents and most desirably toys and other gifts. As I grew older, the letters ABC changed meaning. These simple letters were harder to practice and later on memorize. Abstain, Be faithful and use condoms. Three steps to protect yourself from the HIV epidemic.

1st December is a worldwide recognized AIDS day to raise awareness to the HIV virus and mourn those who have gone too soon by its hand. As kids, we were always cautioned against the disease and told to live by the letters ABC. Twenty years later, HIV is no longer the vividly feared epidemic it was. The fear has been watered down thanks to the vigilance of ABC and God’s mercy to the human race; but the down ward trend of HIV infections should not have you fooled. HIV still exists and is a dangerous disease that can change your life forever. (note that this not a good change).

For most young people nowadays, sex is not water in the desert. You will meet and in the next hour higher chances are that you will hit it. (as the saying goes) This decline in morals and self-respect has   us all exposed and lazy to protect our lives and stay healthy.

not-giant-enough-letter-a

Finding a virgin in 2015 is like searching for the HIV cure it’s self. We have been raised by TV and the internet to believe that having sex early is cool and practicing Abstinence is a thing of the 80’s. Slogans like ‘virginity is lack of opportunity‘ might carry truth but when I was younger I believed it was the right thing to do. (abstaining and not getting a girl pregnant) Even when opportunity presented it’s self, I would say no. Today, we don’t need to search for the opportunity, it looks for us and insists that we use it. So what do you do when offers are surrounding you? (good offers by the way). A, abstain from places, friends and situations that are going to tempt you. For we are all human that can give into temptation. It’s hard to say no but remember that the consequences are hard. Taking ARVs for the rest of your life! We need to ABSTAIN fellas. (as much as we can.)

not-giant-enough-letter-b

So many relationships I know have ended because of cheating. He cheated, she cheated. This has become the norm of dating disasters. One thing I know now that I didn’t then is having multiple partners is expensive, emotionally draining and a healthy risk. (A bomb waiting to explode) It’s always appealing to be the man who can juggle the ladies, but in truth they are using you. For the girls, normally they feel pretty and good about themselves knowing all these guys are running after them. Giving me anything I need but reality check is you need only one partner to live a fully satisfying life. We have one heart to give love, focus on one and stay healthy and happy.

not-giant-enough-letter-c

Buying a condom was the hardest thing to get used to. I always had to prep, wait and get the strength to go to the shop and order one. Even when I reached at that shop ( I made sure the attendant didn’t know me), I had to wait until I was all alone with the shop keeper to order for what I wanted. It was always hard because inside I felt I was about to do something wrong, but when society tells you it’s okay to have sex then all pieces fall in place. No more waiting for NGO condoms that will be discretely  or anonymously handed out. If A has failed, buy that condom and always put it on. (no matter how hot she is) If need be, you should buy a box and keep stock in the house so that moments like, ‘oh I ran out of condoms and I might not get this opportunity again’ cease to happen. We  always need to put it on.

Remember HIV/AIDS is real. We have lost family and friends to the disease. Lets protect ourselves and not swell the number of victims. May God give us guidance,courage and better understanding to stay safe.